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How to deal with a breakup when you weren't really together
How to deal with a breakup when you weren't really together

Let's call the child by name: Breakups suck. Even if you haven't really been with your ex … How to get over the end of a G'spusis.

Online Dating: How To Deal With A Break Up When You Were Not Really Together
Online Dating: How To Deal With A Break Up When You Were Not Really Together

"You, somehow it just doesn't fit between us" - the terrible sentence that makes us all wince - especially when you see things very differently. Even if you've only known each other for a few weeks. Because thanks to flirty emojis on WhatsApp and casual photos on social media, it is often impossible to recognize the end of a G'spusis. So while one believes that everything points to the direction of the relationship, the other person may have already turned to the right long ago …

Nevertheless, such short romances can plunge us into true lovesickness. After all, you have already opened up a bit, the first emotions, longings and secrets have been exchanged. Intimacy was established. It might not have been the relationship of the century, but it was * something *. And even if you've only known each other for four weeks, the thought of life without this person is kind of weird. A relationship with this person? You could well imagine them. Same interests, a similar circle of friends - what looked like the perfect match on Tinder isn't always in real life …


Why we feel lovesick even in affairs

Psychologist Juli Fraga says in an interview with HelloGiggles that we project a lot onto people we have just met and let our imaginations run wild. In other words: we imagine what the person could be like and how we could then enter into a relationship with them. Love, on the other hand, is based on intimacy … and reality.

Online dating as a trap

This loss of reality can happen relatively quickly, especially when it comes to online dating. We have a kind of profile, a photo, a few chat messages - all of this can be interpreted a lot - especially if you rarely see the person face-to-face. You forge your dream partner together in your mind - and perhaps interpret the behavior of the other completely wrongly. The vicious circle begins.

But how do you get over the end of a relationship that never actually was?

1. Do not be ashamed of your feelings

Lovesickness can feel like withdrawal and can even affect our immune systems. The physical pain we feel is actually real and not imagined. The result can be severe depression and anxiety. It doesn't matter whether the relationship lasted 10 years or three weeks. After all, it's not only the end of the affair that hurts us, but also the broken hopes we may have harbored. So the first step in getting over the end of a G'spusis is to admit these feelings and not be ashamed of them.

2. Talk to friends and family

Talk to friends or family or your feelings and don't just put your heartache away. It may not go away overnight, but it will get better. Promised.

3. Treat the situation like a "proper breakup"

Do a lot with your friends, pursue your hobbies, do sports and take care of yourself. Live a life that you are proud of and don't withdraw. You don't need a partner to be happy and have a full life! HERE 8 ways how you can get over your EX, scientifically proven - just stick to these points and you will soon no longer think about the idiot from Tinder …;-)

How do you not fall in love so quickly and blindly in the future?

It's often easier said than done, but try not to rush into data and take it slow. Try not to gloss over people. How does he or she behave? What do you say? Are they really interested or is everything just half-hearted? Has he been writing you back to your questions in monosyllables for days but still looking at your Insta stories? Please don't ignore the warning signs, unfortunately they are mostly the truth. Or as the writer Maya Angelou once wrote so beautifully (and aptly):

"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."

Love takes time and develops. To really love someone, you have to get to know him or her - over a period of time. This doesn't necessarily include a sexual component. And yes, online dating can make things a little more complicated, recognizing the difference between love and lust, but we can learn … So dear ones: It is totally OK to have lovesickness, even if you only meet a few times saw and wasn't really together at all. On the contrary - it's the first step in getting over it! Just remember when you swipe right again …

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