5 things to advise mothers to do (that you can ignore)

2023 Author: Gabrielle Mercer | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-21 12:25

As soon as you have a baby, everyone has good advice for you. Which of these new mothers can definitely ignore right away.

It's fascinating. During pregnancy, tens of people feel the need to comment on your body.

No sooner have you had a baby than everyone feels compelled to serve you unsolicited advice. Infinite. Many. Advice - or better: almost orders. "You have to breastfeed - exclusively." "You can't breastfeed here." "The baby has to lie in bed with you for the first time, that creates a close bond." "You have to stay with your child as long as possible." "Make sure you get back to work very quickly."

We briefly interrupt the background noise and tell you which of these pieces of advice you can immediately switch to pull-through with a friendly smile. (By the way: We have no problem if you ignore us too. You are a mom. You know best what is good for you.)

Advice 1: "Keep trying - breastfeeding will definitely work at some point!"

Breastfeeding is great. The healthiest diet for babies, it strengthens the bond. But unfortunately there is also pressure on mothers. There are women who cannot breastfeed. Others experience pain and find it uncomfortable. To suggest to them again and again that breastfeeding is the only way to be a good mother to your baby plunges these women into sheer desperation. They feel defective, insufficient. Please keep in mind: Breastfeeding has advantages. But they don't define you as a mother. Promised.

Advice 2: "Sleep when the baby is asleep"

When exactly? In the time when you could finally hop in the shower? Or should you quickly shove a meal between your teeth? Even if you've been woken up every 45 minutes for the last 48 hours, it's not possible to level your REM cycle so that your eyes close the second that Little Leo finally crumbles away. In addition, in addition to baby and sleep, there are unfortunately a few other things that have to be taken care of. So if someone thinks they have found the Holy Grail of Slumberland with this advice: Laugh three times.

Advice 3: "Join a mothers group"

Don't get us wrong: It can be wonderful to meet up with other mothers when there are no moms in your circle of friends. But it's not for every woman. Some of us just don't feel like doing baby talk and building up a new circle of friends whose most important binding agent is diapers. Having children is not a criterion for friendship. If you're not in the mood for breastfeeding groups and the like: Keep meeting your BFF, who may tip a gin and tonic instead of the smoothie. Or the work colleague who keeps you up to date on the rumor mill from the office. Believe us: a mental break from everyday baby life can be quite refreshing.

Advice 4: "Enjoy every minute! It will pass so quickly …"

This well-intentioned piece of advice is for some of us … well: Not entirely applicable. Maybe you mourn your old, self-determined life every now and then (and that's totally OK!), You have deep lines under your eyes because you are lacking sleep, you panic when your baby has the hiccups ("Does it suffocate?") or don't even remember when you last washed your hair? Enjoyment feels different. And to be honest: "It'll pass quickly …" doesn't quite apply if you've already read all the classic children's books - and it's only 11 o'clock.

Advice 5: "Cook your own baby food - it's super-healthy and super-easy!"

First, take a leisurely stroll to the farmers' market and choose the perfect organic pumpkin, cup the seeds at home, chop and boil the meat, emulsify it in the new three-part steamer set for baby food and freeze the leftovers neatly in small portions? What better way to spend your afternoon? It is precisely for this reason that baby food in jars was invented. If you have time to cook for the dwarf yourself: Great! Thumbs up. But don't let the competition force you to be a perfect mother if you can do everything yourself.