Success: The 10 + 3 Formula

2023 Author: Gabrielle Mercer | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-21 12:25

Seek dialogue in conflict. The wiser really gives in. Life happens for you, not against you. Entrepreneur and family man Ali Mahlodji, 40, shares 13 tips that will get you ahead.

13 years ago his life changed fundamentally: "I was burned out and I realized that it couldn't go on like this," says entrepreneur Ali Mahlodji, 40. "I changed my focus, and everything around me changed with it - for the better. " Since then, ten guiding principles have accompanied the father of a two-year-old daughter. "By observing myself and others, I have understood which ways of thinking and acting pass us through and which merely block us." Over the years, three more discoveries have emerged that remind the Viennese every day that one thing is particularly important: the right perspective on life.

1. Everyone has everything they need in themselves and nobody is a fault in the system

"I used to think I was a fool. As a high school dropout and with my thousand ideas, I couldn't find a place in the classic system. Everyone said: 'Be realistic and adapt, otherwise you won't be anything.' For a long time I was convinced that I wasn't good enough, until I realized that exactly my supposed idiosyncrasies and my many dreams are my real strengths Let’s celebrate our individuality and our mistakes! Let’s start to stop chasing after the ideas of others, let’s discover our own visions."

2. Try to achieve everything you want - but never at the expense of other living beings

"We have been concentrating on economic growth for decades, we have ignored nature. This is now flying around our ears due to climate change. Corona also happened because we ruthlessly curtailed the habitats of animals. It does not make the world a better one A place if you ignore others - even if it might be tempting because you are in the supposedly higher position. But: If you mess things up, you get it back. I've seen that often enough. That's why I always act on an equal footing with others. I listen to myself and do what is good for me, yes, but I also always reflect on my surroundings - and am grateful when it happens the other way around."

3. In the conflict, seek dialogue and avoid discussion

"We mostly listen to answer, but not to understand. It's about principles, about being right and pushing through your own opinion. The next time you deal with whoever you are, try to be curious about your counterpart Ask questions to find out each other's motivations. Don't look for what divides, look for what connects."

4. We all have the opportunity to go our own way. No matter how old we are, what gender we are, what we look like, what we believe in and who we love

"One of the greatest sources of unhappiness is when we hold back our potential. We do that far too often because we are still focusing too much on social 'guidelines'. I am not allowed to do that because it is unmanly or because it is myself not belonged to women. I have to behave like that, because that's how it is done at my age. I could do it if this or that were different about me. Get out of the drawer other people put you in. Think about it: What gives you pleasure and pleasure? And then you go for your goals. Create an environment and an environment in which you can be who you really are and in which you get recognition for it."

5. The wiser really gives in - when the cost of mental and physical health is too high

"An entrepreneur had contacted me. It was about a fourth generation family business that he ran with his brother. The two had been falling out for seven years. His goal: to force the other out of the company. Whom he ruined with this attitude His concentration fell, he slept poorly, and even had a lung attack from being so upset about an argument. Both of them were dogged by something because they wanted respect and principle - and most of the time it is the wrong approach. Learn to come to terms with certain things. You cannot change everything in life. And do not care about what you cannot change. You will not be judged everywhere, even if you are convinced of it that it is yours. Learn to hold out your hand to the person opposite you in spite of all adversities."

6. When you have no other choice and you need to use your verbal or physical elbows, use them so that one time is enough to rest

"In my youth there were a few guys who wanted me. I was never the biggest and therefore an easy victim for them. Above all, I was alone and they in the group. At some point they stubbed a cigarette in my hand "I saw one of the guys again a few days later. He said, 'Hey, that was just a joke the other day." My knees were shaking, I was sick, and I was scared, but I slapped him in the face anyway. I never wanted to do that, but I knew if I didn't fight back now it would go on and on. I wanted to no longer be the victim. And afterwards there was indeed a calm. Clear boundaries are necessary. Even with people who are close to you. Whether in a partnership, in friendships or at work: Say clearly no if something is too much for you or You don't want something."

7. Trust your intuition, it always wants the best for you

"Listen to your gut instinct. Sounds easier than it is, doesn't it? Most of them have forgotten how to listen to their inner voice. We'd rather concentrate on facts, numbers and probabilities. But Corona has shown: Sometimes you have to focus completely Set new situations for which there is no experience yet. It helps to have a good relationship with your intuition and to be guided by it."

8. Concentrate on your environment, not on your competition

"Comparing yourself with others does not make you happy. Not even the idea of constantly wanting to be better than others. What helps to feel really good, however: when you concentrate on your surroundings, ask yourself what your fellow human beings need, to get ahead. Always consciously direct your focus on togetherness instead of opposing one another."

9. You don't get better by making others bad

"Why do so many still believe that they will come across as stronger, smarter and better if they keep others down? This mechanism of devaluation is just evidence of inner weakness and insufficient self-esteem. It fills us with negative thoughts and destructive energy. When in doubt always rely on generosity, acceptance and benevolence."

10. Plan your steps so that in the end you can look back on an awesome life path

"Think about your deathbed: How do you want to feel on your last day? Satisfied and happy because you have seized all opportunities and savored all the beautiful moments? Sounds good, doesn't it? Then get down to business now and think about what you can help to get the most out of your life."

11. Be grateful that you don't know the deadline of your life. That's the real inspiration

"The bad news: Nobody survives life. The good news: It's up to us how we organize the time we have here. So go out and do what makes you feel alive. Don't wait the next weekend, the next vacation or the pension. I hate to tell you, but it can be over by tomorrow."

12. Principles block your advancement if you are not ready to reflect on them

"Our world loves people who hold on to certain points of view. And many forget that the world is always turning. An example: 15 years ago it was great if you were employed by the same company for at least five years as an employee. Today it is The world of work is much more dynamic, and you will find it difficult to think like that. Fortunately, values such as human rights, moral courage and solidarity remain timeless."

13. Life happens for you, not against you

"My stutter helped me watch people. Instead of talking, I listened. See life's hurdles as a gym workout that you do to strengthen your muscles. Challenges give you the chance to grow. If you understand that, your view of your life will change radically. Then there will be no more 'negative' and 'unsuccessful', but only getting ahead."