2023 Author: Gabrielle Mercer | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-21 12:25
Is your relationship happy Why is love so beautiful and yet often so terribly exhausting? What does the big word "love" mean in a small way?
Why is it so terribly difficult sometimes with love? You have a fantastic boyfriend, you are overjoyed, you have the feeling that you are doing better than ever before … And then? A crash. A silly story, actually. And yet it shakes you to your very foundations, happiness is extinguished from one minute to the next, do you have the feeling that you do not know this person, are disappointed, angry …
You make up again. Luckily. Because at the end of the day you love each other. Nevertheless, this row lingers, the small injuries that one inflicts on one another in the course of an argument pop up again and again.
Damned. Why do the negative experiences lag behind us for so long in retrospect? Why isn't it the beautiful things that are so stuck in memory? Why does a beautiful moment not have as much power as a destructive moment?
In the end, what counts: is there a plus sign in front of the relationship equation?
In truth, it is precisely these individual moments that make you happy, enchanted, crazy - or desperate, sad, deeply unhappy. They add up, and at the end you can set up an equation. Hopefully the result has a plus sign in front of it. Because the majority of the moments result in a beautiful relationship, because the positive outweigh the negative.
So let's make a firm decision to honor the beautiful moments more. In truth there is enough. We just don't perceive them that way anymore, we often take them for granted too quickly.
The artist Nidhi Chanani, who lives in San Francisco, wants to portray exactly this understanding of love in her illustration series "Everyday Love". The little moments that seem so unimportant and everyday, but which are much more decisive for our relationship. The greeting when you come home. Sharing the headphones when your favorite song is playing. We chatted with Nidhi about the essence of love:
WOMAN: What does "love" mean to you?
Nidhi Chanani: For me, love shows in the hug when my husband puts his arm around me. Or when we walk through the neighborhood holding hands. In the end, love also means the firm will to believe that the other person will never harm you and that everything will be fine.
WOMAN: You are married, you have a child. Everyday life is not always easy. What is your love secret?
Nidhi: Our days are full of love - small moments in which we signal to the other that we are there for them, take care of them, are interested in them. Even so, it would be a lie to say that my husband and I never argue. But when we had our very first row, I was standing madly in the kitchen and would have loved to throw everything, he said to me: 'I don't really want to argue with you. I just want to love you. ' - And that is still the guideline that we adhere to today. Even if there are discussions.
WOMAN: When do you feel that the love between you is greatest?
Nidhi: When my husband texts me a little. Or he puts strawberries in my muesli because he knows that I'm the only one in the family who likes them. Or when he sends me a photo of something on my cell phone because he thinks it's funny and wants me to see it too.
WOMAN: It sounds so simple - and yet it's so difficult to really appreciate these little gestures. Why is that?
Nidhi: Precisely because they are small gestures. Great romantic moments like a marriage proposal are not forgotten because they seem so dramatic. But those little moments when you dance around the apartment together in pajamas, when you hug each other in the rain or have to laugh together from the bottom of your heart because the children are doing nonsense, it is they that make our happiness and satisfaction at the end of the day turn off.