Table of contents:

10 signs you're not * really * in love, but afraid of being alone
10 signs you're not * really * in love, but afraid of being alone

Many get along well with being single. Others hate being alone. Therefore, they look for relationships without feeling real love …

not really in love
not really in love

Single life? This is really not for you! Fortunately, you will always find a new boyfriend. Because in a relationship you feel completely at ease. But: is sheer being together enough to really be happy with another person? In the short term, maybe. But in the long run, it's better to face the fear of being alone. Because that is the real problem!

10 signs you're not really in love:


The relationship feels superficial:

It's nice to hang out with someone who is kind and nice anyway. But if you're honest, that's not enough for a real love relationship …


You don't know that much about him / her:

The other person works in the IT area, likes to tweak his own motorcycle and goes to the gym twice a week. It may well be that he / she has already revealed more information about himself, but you really didn't really care.


But you don't tell everything about yourself either:

You are an open book to your close friends. But you keep some important areas of personality secret from your "sweetheart". It would be a shame if he / she does not like these aspects of you and the relationship starts to stumble as a result …


What do you two have in common? You don't really know that …

You already like to go to the movies or eat or do sports together, but otherwise … If you are having a hard time finding something else in common than those activities that pretty much * all * people think are okay, then you should ask yourself if you are at all have something in common.


When you are alone you feel bad:

When he / she is there, everything feels pleasantly subdued. Then when you're alone, you panic. What if you never find a suitable partner again? Isn't it better then to keep trying with this wonderfully neutral person? The answer to this is, despite quite logical-sounding considerations: No!


You hope to be able to change him / her:

You already see potential in your partner. Yes, maybe you are not completely passionate about the matter yet. But if he or she changes these two or three small and big things, then it will fit much better …

For example, if your sweetheart has an addiction problem and you want to help him or her get better, then the desire for change is coming from the right direction. But if you just want to change your partner so that the person suits you better, then that's quite selfish.


Everything is so cramped & out of round:

Most relationships have points where it's difficult to stay together, and that's okay. It's less okay if every little thing feels forced and like a constant struggle. If he / she doesn't even bother to somehow save the relationship, then at least from his / her point of view the matter is clear: the relationship is over.


You keep him / her under protection and you have to justify yourself:

Sexist slogans, nasty sayings and funny acts: In public you only look to make sure that your counterpart does not misbehave in any way. And when it does happen, you can think of a variety of explanations why it was just an exceptional situation.


You have to convince your environment again and again that he / she is "the right one":

Somehow nobody buys from you that you really go together. And you find yourself again and again in situations in which you have to justify and defend your relationship.


You're in love somehow …

… but not in him / her, but in the relationship itself. In the feeling of being able to say: "My boyfriend / girlfriend and I went last week …". In the warm body that lies next to you in bed. In the possibility of always being a couple and no longer alone. And although these are understandable thoughts, they won't do you any good in the long term. And neither will your partner.

Don't be afraid of being single! These articles could help you:

  • How to be single: 10 things I learned as a single
  • Single or relationship: which way of life is better?
  • Single panic? What helps against it
  • Why Sundays are great as a single

Popular by topic