Love is only perfect in commercials and films. If there is stress in the relationship, this conflict-of-mind exercise can take the steam out of it.
You have toiled for nine hours or more, then do some quick shopping, prepare a healthy meal, play super mommy or wonder daddy and then have great sex, because it's a "must" for a good relationship.
Self-exploitation overturns the joy of life. And it also becomes a problem for the relationship. If we all only do what is expected of us, if we want to live up to external role demands, then we become dissatisfied. With life, with your partner.
Problems can only be solved if they are addressed. But most of the time this conflict talk goes terribly wrong. Because the time has been chosen incorrectly, the expectations of the partner and their behavior or understanding are too high - or we simply choose the wrong formulations. Immediately the emotions boil, compromises are difficult to make.
We'll tell you here rules for a constructive because not to emotional conflict discussion:
1
Problems need to be resolved. When you wait, anger often builds up. And that's not a good advisor. Sometimes serious difficulties do not arise at all if you regularly take time for a good dialogue. 90 minutes, once a month - that's a pretty good benchmark.
2
There should be no distractions during the conversation. Cell phones, kids or other "attention robbers" only ensure that you lose contact with each other.
3
A partner starts and tells everything that is on their mind at the moment for 15 minutes. Interruptions are not permitted, listening is a must for the other.
4
Be silent and be silent: If someone decides to let his 15 minutes pass silently, this can be accepted without question.
5
After a quarter of an hour it is the turn of the other partner. Then it changes again until the 90 minutes are over.
6
Start and stop on time: Dialogues should never be lengthened or shortened. This ensures that you stick to the heart of the matter and don't get stuck in details.
7
Stay with you So talk only about yourself, what causes and triggers some things in you. Avoid generalizations ("… because you ALWAYS …")!
8
Tell about small, self-experienced things. Save yourself general charges and the tiresome lecturing.
