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Every relationship has its lows. But when is it better to hold out and hope for better times - and when should you throw in the towel?
In a perfect world there would be a set of rules that let us know when a relationship is right and good for us (a really small, compact one that would ideally fit in our clutch and maybe have an integrated mirror … just kidding would be nice !). But unfortunately this set of rules of love does not exist. Or at least we didn't know about it.
But each of us knows what it feels like to have doubts about a relationship. But at the same time you are not sure whether it is just a temporary crisis (happens in every relationship!) And you should grit your teeth and persevere - or whether it would not be better to throw in the towel and end the misfortune. Out of love.
Why we find it so difficult to end a relationship
We women, in particular, are often very susceptible to relationships when it comes to relationships. Please, no insinuation, just an observation. There are enough examples in the circle of friends. Great women who hold on forever, even if their well-meaning environment persuades them to finally leave this misfortune of a man behind them. Only: Anyone who is in a difficult relationship knows how incredibly difficult it is:
- One hopes that he or she will change at some point (probably not happening).
- That it will be the way it used to be again (difficult because time cannot be turned back).
- Or you have a deeply rooted worry of suddenly being alone.
- Sometimes even a form of possessiveness plays a role: Above all, you want to prevent your partner from finding happiness with someone else.
The pressure in this situation full of question marks is enormous. Even if we are not a clutch-format love set of rules with a mirror function: We have two indicators that you can use to determine whether you should end the relationship. And which are actually quite harmless at first glance …
When is it better to let go of the relationship
1. When you feel like you are walking on eggshells
That is not healthy. Again, repeat: THE. IS. NOT. HEALTHY. The fear and insecurity that you have to constantly hold someone else with kid gloves so that there is no argument or you have the feeling that you are being pushed away with both hands is not only heartbreaking, but extremely toxic. The purpose of a relationship is to find someone who knows who you are and loves you for it.
If your partner isn't interested, the number of emojis you send and your constant efforts to respond to his or her needs won't change that. So the next time you find yourself arguing to a good friend that what you said to your partner was maybe "a little too much", remember how great it is you actually are. And that you deserve someone who appreciates it (instead of submitting yourself to someone else and slowly transforming yourself into someone else).
2. When it negatively affects your everyday life
There is a simple truth: Relationships are made up of compromises. But if you only subordinate yourself to your counterpart and this has a negative impact on your life by missing work deadlines and neglecting other things that made you happy in the past, then take a step back. Your life should not be at the expense of someone else's happiness. When you are no longer feeling like yourself in a relationship, you are running out of energy, then it is time to end it. A positive, healthy relationship is indicated by your own happiness level. Never forget: life is too short not to be joyful just because there is a relationship that is beating you down.