Table of contents:
- Separation - what now? 8 scientifically proven tips
- # 1 Cold withdrawal for lovesickness
- # 2 Breakup Pains: Take a pain pill if you have a pinch. For real
- # 3 Reflect - but don't live in the past
- # 4 sports. Always go with divorce or separation
- # 5 Time heals all wounds - even with separation pain
- # 6 Third person singular - this is how you overcome lovesickness
- # 7 Self-awareness
- # 8 Just don't stalk. Out now
Relationship ended? Divorce? Separation pains and lovesickness have you under control? Do you get a stomachache just thinking about your ex? We'll show you 8 ways to get over it - scientifically proven!
Let's just say how it is: Breakups are shit. So right. You feel real, physical pain, you can't imagine how everything will ever be fine again and at that moment there is probably no one in the world who has to endure as much suffering as you do.
And it's also true: At that moment, a world collapses. The closest caregiver falls away. It is not for nothing that studies have found that lovesickness is comparable to drug withdrawal. Did we say breakups or a divorce sucked? Yes. It's correct. But here, too, science is our friend. With these eight scientifically proven tips, you may soon find it easier to cope with everyday life and chaos. And as cheesy as it sounds: time heals all wounds … if not by itself!
Separation - what now? 8 scientifically proven tips
# 1 Cold withdrawal for lovesickness
Often heard, seldom pulled through: As mentioned above - breakups are like drug withdrawal. And to stick with the comparison: an alcoholic has to get dry first. A little sip of alcohol can be fatal. It is similar with lovesickness. So: first clean up … and away. Everything that reminds you of the ex has to be out of sight. Cards? Pad? The ring, the dress, the lamp that you once received as a gift? Away with it. Or at least in a box that you first clear away. AND - don't go where you might meet the exes. Even if you are drawn to these places of longing. At least for now.
# 2 Breakup Pains: Take a pain pill if you have a pinch. For real
The real and true physical pain just thinking about the ex? Smell the perfume? Are you only briefly reminded of the wonderful time in the lonely hut on the beach? It's real. According to a 2010 study, taking an aspirin can actually help with acute lovesickness. In moderation. And not in the long run and only in an emergency at all. But science is science. And no one has to endure the stomach cramps and breathing difficulties that can occur because of all the lovesicknesses. In any case, they are not conceited!
# 3 Reflect - but don't live in the past
Read through all the messages again, think through all the conversations and quarrels in your head and completely brainstorm - after a breakup (and especially if you have breakup pain) we tend to want to understand exactly where exactly we took the wrong turn in this regard. What the real trigger for the relationship breakdown was. In truth, this is probably nothing more than wanting to be close to the ex-partner (at least in your mind) again - at least in your memory. Reflection is good, even important. But don't wallow in the past! Talk to friends or family, try to look at your situation from the outside - calmly and objectively.
# 4 sports. Always go with divorce or separation
Sport is great. You're busy, doing something good for yourself and releasing happiness hormones in the process. Studies have shown that breakups can unbalance your whole body. Insomnia, no appetite, excessive appetite, even your body temperature or heartbeat can be affected. So what to do Take care of yourself: Lots of sleep, healthy food, exercise, and regular meetings with friends will help you get back on track. See that you can find a rhythm again. Your rhythm - even if this is difficult after a long marriage or relationship.
# 5 Time heals all wounds - even with separation pain
… not all by itself … but it is! Give your feelings time. Don't expect everything to be all right after a week. On the contrary - even after three years it can still sting when you think about your ended relationship. But the more time goes by, the fewer memories come up - you don't create new ones with this person anymore. Allow your feelings, grieve, be angry. But at the same time allow yourself to heal and do not defend yourself against new experiences.
# 6 Third person singular - this is how you overcome lovesickness
Speaking of healing and reflecting: Studies have shown that you can cope with painful situations more easily if you approach them from the outside. So the incident relived in the third person. Distance yourself from the relationship while you reflect. Don't let yourself be dragged into the vortex anymore. And look at your quarrels from the outside? How was it really?
# 7 Self-awareness
The "post-breakup hairstyle" - almost everyone knows it. The fact is, however, that change after a drastic experience can really help to process it better. It doesn't have to be moving to another city or the horrible perm. BUT become aware of your new status as a single. Maybe even celebrate it - with a visit to the hairdresser!
# 8 Just don't stalk. Out now
We don't really have to tell you anyway. Everybody knows. But of course we do it anyway: stalking. The ex. The new girlfriend. The one whose picture he liked three years ago and might be his new girlfriend. His friends. His family. His work colleagues. His kindergarten friend. The pictures, stories and videos are there. Damn 21st century. Terrible internet! It's always there and entices you to look at all 157 Instagram posts and daily tweets of the ex, onto which you subsequently project complex meanings and background stories. Just leave it. Block, delete, live! Close your eyes and through - you can't imagine how quickly you forget your old relationship if you are no longer reminded of your ex by photos and status!
Done! And now live your life … even without an ex … and no matter how often you will spoil your pan of Ben & Jerry's with tears: It's going to be good!