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The Austrian children's book "Lina, die Entdeckerin" is about the female sexual organ. And is also exciting for adults. Why it is often difficult for us to speak impartially and neutrally about genitals.
Pussy, slit, mom, jewelry box - how do you say "down there"? "Vulva", explains educator Lisa Charlotte Sonnberger, 34. Together with psychologist Katharina Schönborn-Hotter, 40, illustrator Anna Horak, 29 and artist Flo Staffelmayr, 49, she wrote the educational book "Lina, the discoverer". Her goal: to create a relaxed, unexcited and value-free way of dealing with the female sexual organ, completely without belittling or paraphrasing. The 31 pages are intended for children - and for adults. "We have observed that many women, men, mothers and fathers still do not feel comfortable talking about 'that between the legs'", said Sonnberger.
Anxiety and discomfort that the authors also observed in their own environment. Schönborn-Hotter says: "For example, a friend of mine tells her daughter when changing diapers that she smears her bottom, that she does the same with her vulva, she leaves out." Flo Staffelmayr has had similar experiences. He is the father of a now seven-year-old daughter and asks himself: "Why couldn't anyone in the hospital explain to me how to clean my baby's vulva? Why can't we manage all parts of their bodies with our children on a neutral level speak?"
"If I have a suitable word for something, then it gives me security!"
It is also advisable to use the correct vocabulary to protect the little ones. In a discussion on the Facebook page of influencer Christine Neder from "Lilies Diary" on this topic, a kindergarten teacher wrote: “We are using the correct terms. Vagina (vulva would be even better, but has not yet established itself). Or penis. Nach. We also do this for reasons of abuse prevention. It is very important that children can clearly name their genitals in order to be understood if necessary. "Sex and psychotherapist Dania Schiftan writes on her platform 2anyworkingmom": "We are used to genitals being something delicate and special, something intimate. It is exactly the opposite: the more we develop a special language with regard to our genitals and generate an exceptional situation, the more misunderstandings will arise, the more uncomfortable there is with it, and the more insecurity there will be. "She continues:" If I have a suitable word for something, then that gives me security. I become competent. Anyone who knows what their gender is called and how it works is also more competent with it."
About apple trees, supper and genital organs
The picture book should help to break taboos - for more knowledge and self-determination of our body. "Sex organs belong to us like all other parts of the body. Especially for children it makes no difference at first to talk about the apple tree, dinner or the vulva and penis," says Sonnberger.
And while we're at it: Delete the words "labia" and "pubic hair" from your language! "Let's say 'vulval lips' and 'genital hair' instead. Otherwise we needn't be surprised that our relationship to the female genital organ remains literally shameful," says Sonnberger to support your body and not devalue it. We must encourage you to devote yourself to it with love."
The protagonist in the book does the same: Lina explores her body with curiosity. The illustrations are supplemented with useful and factual information. For example, that the vagina, "that is the cavity that goes inside", cleans itself. Menstruation is thematized ("This is completely normal and not a disease or injury."), Explains what happens in the body during this phase of the cycle and what options there are to collect the blood - from disposable sanitary towels, tampons to menstrual cups.
Make yourself aware of your own insecurities
A relaxed approach to sexuality and our body is important. So far, so right. But what if you yourself have been given a rather cramped approach? How do you create more openness for yourself and your children? "Step by step at your own pace and with an intensity that is not overwhelming," advises Sonnberger, "I can well understand that not everyone finds it equally easy to talk about these topics. You must not be too hard on yourself. It's never too late to work on a positive relationship with your own body. It's an investment in yourself that definitely pays off. " Schönborn-Hotter adds: "And speak honestly when something is embarrassing or uncomfortable. Children in particular are very sensitive and notice it anyway. Whatever helps: humor. That creates a certain ease."
