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Between the chairs? You actually thought you were happy in your relationship. But suddenly someone appears and the feelings go crazy …
The initial situation is clear and straightforward: I'm in a steady relationship, we have plans for the future, everything is - works - good. The first fall in love is no longer there, but actually I think I'm satisfied. The current values that make my partnership “valuable” are affection, familiarity, common interests and a great group of friends.
And then it happens: I fall in love with a stranger. Unplanned and unwanted. Suddenly my heart beats really hard when HE (or SHE) walks by. The new acquaintance leaves butterflies fluttering in your stomach, everything else - including the currently still “valuable” relationship - looks pale, bland and worn out. The weak points of the longtime struck me uncomfortably, how could I endure all of this for so long?
On the other hand, the boundless fascination for the new person and the longing for him / her is almost unbearable. Unfortunately, neither does the bad conscience.
But what now? How should this continue? Obviously being in love makes you stupid. The shooting hormones prevent controlled thinking. The whole body just cries out for Person New.
Caution! Now just don't make hasty decisions based on a gut feeling (right, the butterflies are going crazy there). Even if the hormones want to take over now, the mind has to act, because an important decision is pending.
And for them you need help: Try to bring clarity into the fog of feelings in conversations with confidants or experts, to weigh the pros and cons, to put life back in order. Only then will it be clear which path you will choose for the future:
Exclusion. I choose the end of my relationship and thus a new phase of life. With or without a new person, but definitely with a partner at eye level.
Repent in silence. I determine how much my current relationship is worth to me and end the affair. Live with the guilt of not being faithful, but I am sure that the current partner is right for me, even if I never want him or her to know about my affair.
Chance for the future. I end the affair, confess my infidelity and hope to be able to come to terms with the past for a better future with my counterpart. If he or she forgives me, this is the basis for giving our relationship more color, more esprit and a more stable foundation.
About the author:
Eva Kinauer-Bechter has been running one of the most exclusive dating agencies in Austria for 20 years. Your target group are demanding, financially independent people who are looking for a serious and long-term partnership. In the course of personal interviews, the expert develops hand-picked and individual requirement and personality profiles. Instead of impersonal computer algorithms, the right partner from the client pool is sought with a high degree of professionalism and knowledge of human nature.
