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And no. Those three words are not "I love you!"
Relationships are tricky.
Even as little girls we all saw these infamous Disney princesses dance and sing to find their only true love, sighed with longing and wondered when * our * princes would ride to save us, so that we would be happy be able to live.
Fast forward to our teenage and young adult years; We devoured all the classic rom-coms: Sleepless in Seattle, While you slept, 10 things I hate about you, American beauty …
In all of our daydreams, we imagined the perfect film romance. Including the sentence we always wanted to say to our partner. Even if we were grumpy at him right now. Right: "I love you." But those three words are not what this article is about.
7 signs your marriage is not as happy & perfect as you think it is
Don't get us wrong - these three words can be extremely powerful if used correctly. Or they can easily become a routine, humble response. The three words we are talking about, on the other hand, require vulnerability, devotion, honesty, true presence and appreciation from the partner. Sounds like esoteric hippie-woo-hoo stuff, right?
What are the three words?
These three words are the holy grail, yes the elixir of life of a functioning relationship. Why?
1. You * really * admit that you are sorry
Sure, "I'm sorry" is a decent phrase, but think about it - we learned to apologize before we could even speak properly. How many little children have you seen in your life who say "Sorry" under rolling eyes? Just. An "excuse me" now has little impact. We are virtually immune to it.
2. You affirm that you really listened
In the age of smartphones and social media, we basically always peck in front of the screen. Also during arguments (don't even try to deny it). By saying that the other person is right, we also show that we really listened.
3. You show that even you are not perfect
And that's exactly what is essential in a relationship. We feel right much more often than we really are in the end. It is especially difficult to admit your mistakes during quarrels. By uttering these three words, you take a step back and allow your partner to pour out your thoughts, even your heart. And we could all use more of this "safe space".
4. You keep your voice
You are not saying that you are giving up or that you are wrong with these words. You are not playing the martyr or the victim with it. Maybe you're wrong, but maybe you're both right. There is room for interpretation and discussion.
So there they are, the three words. Give it a try. Perhaps you will try to apply them on a small scale first. Not in an argument or with a "Hey, I bought the drink you talked about during lunch today. You're right, it tastes really great. Or " You're right, The diaper is really easier to put on our Buzi on the floor."
So: go, go! Go out into the world and make your relationship even better. You are welcome!