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Wild sex, no obligation. This is what the classic affair looks like. But how can a woman tell whether the Gspusi also has relationship potential?
In the beginning it is like this: We are incredibly cool. Standing over it. Feelings? Please go! We are independent women, we have each other under control. It's about sex. Just about sex.
That works fine for a couple of weeks. Maximum. And then we're trapped. Instead of looking coolly at the affair as an affair, we suddenly wish that HE stayed overnight. That we might spend a weekend together. Watch DVDs. Cooking together.. Or more …
The reason we suddenly wanted something more from the Gspusi: the damn hormones, what else. Oxytocin, to be precise. The same thing is released during orgasm and is popularly known as the "attachment hormone". The bond between two and monogamous behavior is strengthened.
And so a survey conducted by the affair portal FirstAffairs among 8,400 members came as no surprise: 42 percent of men and 79 percent of women fell seriously in love with their affair after a short period of time. This is where the problems begin - as always when feelings are involved.
Can an affair turn into a relationship?
But how do you know whether the affair could really become more? How do you determine whether the other person also feels the same way (because: You are too reluctant to speak up. Because: You don't really want to be rejected now). So?
It's not just about sex anymore. What are the characteristics of the affair? Passionate, no-obligation sex. What is a relationship? Also the time in between. So if you suddenly spend more time with this person beyond bed, even just going to the cinema or going for a walk, then that's a signal that real sympathy and maybe even infatuation is at play here.
He'll get in touch… and it's not just a "booty call". He's calling because he wants to tell you how his day was. Or because he wants to know how your presentation went. Regular conversations that include things other than sex are an indication that things are getting more serious.
He introduces you to other people. If it is a pure sex story, then there is no need to be introduced to other people. But if he suddenly takes you to see friends or relatives, then he is more serious about you.
He cares. If a guy now and then buys something for you, changes your bike tire, orders you the book that you want or sends you links to nice furniture for your new home: Hurray! He likes you more than …
He makes plans. Tickets for the exhibition next year? A trip together? Anyone who suddenly plans the other person for future projects may wish that the non-binding flirtation turns into a relationship.