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Your grandma asks you for the thousandth time why you "still don't have a boyfriend" and you never use +1 for wedding invitations? So what?!
It happens all year round, but especially during the festive Christmas season, curious nervous relatives love to ask a question: "Are you meeting someone?" You will pause while you were about to hand them the sauerkraut at the Christmas table, smile friendly and say a vague "Not exactly, no." press out. You will smile back pityingly and in the best case not ask any more. Most of the time, however, the aunt or cousin will dig deeper or add a "Don't worry, you will find someone". And you will feel the shame in your stomach - even though you are actually quite happy as a single.
Maybe you aren't even worried about finding someone, and maybe you're not even looking. Nevertheless, it still seems to be general law that single women are desperately looking for a partner
And precisely with this prejudice comes the inner pressure and this inexplicable feeling of shame in the stomach when you are sitting at a table full of couples. And honestly? I also knew this feeling for a long time. Whenever I drove from Vienna to Upper Austria to my home village on time for Christmas. The old schoolmates, the distant relatives, the neighbors? They all drilled and drilled into a gap that I didn't see as a gap at all. I was happy with my social life, had success at work, was happy. And yet that wasn't enough for the relatives. Because it didn't fit into her image of happiness.
And even if we were able to at least escape the larger Christmas parties and meetings this year, we will help you to arm yourself for the coming year. Because they will come again. The uncomfortable questions. 3 tips!
3 things to do if you feel stupid about being single
1. Ask yourself why you feel attacked by all of the questions
Are other people's questions really judgmental? Do you feel insecure because you are single? Is there a bit of truth in both statements? Of course, Aunt Hanna may want to provoke you with the question, but at the same time you can misinterpret the questions because you are frustrated and insecure yourself or are afraid of the expectations of your friends and family.
2. Don't defend yourself
It is definitely not due to your own insecurities and are you actually exposed to single shaming? Then please don't defend yourself. After all, being single isn't something to be ashamed of. You don't have to explain your life to others or make it palatable. Cut off the conversation by telling how happy you are with your situation.
3. Direct the conversation to another topic
Friends and family just don't want to stop asking questions even though you are visibly uncomfortable talking about your love life? Then skilfully steer the conversation to another topic. Talk about what you enjoy about being single, about your career, your new apartment, your dog, your best friend or your new hobby. This keeps the mood positive, while at the same time you get out of the defensive position.